I'm feeling kinda poignant and clueless…about why things had turned out this way. I thought I could apportion myself some blame; I thought we could go back to how things were. But I guess if that were to happen, I'd have to put on a façade as well. And there's no damn way I'm going to do that. It has always been hard to gain trust in someone, especially someone so dear, someone I'd have to face almost everyday of my life, and perhaps in future as well. That would be ideal. But it just takes one minute incident to lose everything, and this time, it took many. I'm annoyed at how naïve I was to not be able to see through your disguise, and the very fact that I'm almost an adult makes things look even worse. Every time I see things that remind me of you, I just feel sickened, and prolly some apprehension as well. I don't know what you're capable of doing, and neither do I know if your next target is going to be me. Why can't you just keep things simple eh? I'm sorry for being such a coward but I really do not have any intention of doing anything more. You're so damn daunting that I don't even know when you're telling the truth anymore. I guess after this long break, life still has to move on. It's sad to see you putting on a disguise. And it's even sadder to have to pretend that I didn't see it. Now that you know, its time for you to meet mine as well. --- Sorry xanga and my dear readers that you've got to see such angst after a long hiatus. I'm sure y'all missed the good'ol cheery me. And this is what too much studying does to people. | 
